Do I praise God in EVERYTHING? Regardless of the situation or if things aren't going my way? No. Things aren't going my way and I am mad. Mad at God? Pretty crazy. I always heard people say they were mad at God but could never understand it. How could you be mad at the One who gave you life and salvation and everything around you? But I am.
I want God to be in my laughing AND in my mourning.
Be with me as I hope, wait, dream, and wrestle.
I know that His ways are so much better and higher than my own. Why can't I embrace that?
I say, "If I pray and read the bible and am happy God will give me this."
God owes me nothing and I must not seek Him for what I can gain.
Oh that I may seek Him for Him and love of Him and desperation for Him.
To count everything else a loss.
I don't want this to be my fire but I guess we don't get to pick it. God is smart to choose this. It is the thing that means the most to me in life. I must throw it aside and run to my Creator. I want Him to be enough. But I don't know that He is right now. I don't know how I would handle tragedy in this. Would I worship and believe that His ways are perfect? Would I scream, bite, curse, and turn away?
Lord, increase my faith!
How many times did I say "I" in this post? Pretty ridiculous.
More of HIM and less of me!!!!!!!
But as for me, I trust in you, O Lord.
I say, "You are my God. My times are in your Hands."