Praising God through a second miscarrige

It is hard to explain this peace.
It hurts, but doesn't consume like you would think. I cannot attribute it to anything but Jesus. I have lost the thing that I have wanted more than anything in my entire life, but I have hope. How? How can I have hope when my mind tells me that everything is lost? Even I think should I be completely broken and ruined. What is with me? Why do I not despair? HOW DO I HAVE HOPE?
It's like He has come and carried me through it all. I want to wallow and throw the sheets over my head every day..... but I don't. Why not?

I always read the verse, but never completely knew until now:

I have no idea how..... well, that's silly- I do know how. I know that God is a mighty and loving God and that He could never give me anything other than blessings and things for my good. Right now I am not sure how this is for my good, but I believe and have faith that it is. His ways are so much higher than mine. If Christ is glorified through our sufferings, then so be it.

So we do grieve, but we grieve with hope. Hope that someday we will meet our sweet Hosanna in heaven, hope that we will look back and clearly see this as blessing, hope that Jesus is glorified through this, and hope that we will have children someday... in whatever way God chooses.

"But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope." (1 Thessalonians 4:13)

"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." ( Psalm 42:5)

**I had a dream a few weeks before we found out we were pregnant. I was rocking a baby girl and singing "Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest" to her when I heard, "That is what she will be." So we were going to name our baby Hosanna. I see now what God was saying. She (this pregnancy) will be Hosanna (PRAISE!). We will praise through this suffering. We will praise God for His love and grace... no matter the circumstances.**

Be our everything, Jesus. For Your name and Your glory, are the desires of our hearts
It is well.


Brooke & Freeland said...

Hey! Just wanted you to both know that we are praying for you. Love you - Brooke

Ami said...

I love you. I love your baby. I can't wait to meet her and know I will meet her siblings here. This is from a John Piper article: The greatest news in all the world is that there is no final conflict between my passion for joy and God's passion for his glory. The knot that ties these together is the truth that God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him. Jesus Christ died and rose again to forgive the treason of our souls, which have turned from savoring God to savoring self. In the cross of Christ, God rescues us from the house of mirrors and leads us out to the mountains and canyons of his majesty. Nothing satisfies us - or magnifies him - more.

You are magnifying him through this.

JB and Cindy said...

Your strength humbles me and teaches me at the same time. Keep saying, "Yes" to Him and He won't forsake you. I'm praying that God reveals to you His will and His promise. (Habakkuk 3:17-19)